Words.

Words are funny things. How sometimes the wrong one makes all the difference. How choosing them can mean everything and a lack of them can mean just as much. Sometimes I'm really good with words. But most of the time I'm just good with thoughts. Because what's the significance of an unspoken thought? It's not validated. You can't even really prove you had a certain thought. You can just say, "Yeah, that's what I was thinking," after the fact.

But here's the thing. I want you to know something. You who is not reading this. You who means more to me than you should. You who I don't even really know. I like you. I like who I've made you up to be anyways. I want to know you. I want so much from you that it hurts. And I don't really know why. I don't know anything.

This isn't even original, ya know? The whole Someone Has Already Thought What You Have Thought, You're Not Unique In This Sense. It makes me seem so insignificant. How could I ever mean anything to anyone when I'm so insignificant? I don't deserve to feel loved. I don't deserve to be anything BUT loved. I don't think I know what I want or what I need or who I am or who you are or what the fuck anything is any more. I'm so full of hate and love and bitterness and sadness and lust and all of this is so overwhelming.

How does any one person handle life? How are you supposed to manage all of these emotions? It doesn't make sense. I'm not making any sense.

I just want someone to use words for me and really mean them. I just want a real emotion.