The Nightmare.

So I was walking through this apartment that was supposedly mine (though, in reality, it was definitely, definitely not mine), attempting to steer past the hordes of party guests I didn't know. They were like circus freaks, sort of. I mean, not in the conventional sense. None of the ladies had beards. No strange malformations. Just a general Moulin Rouge like quality; sinister grins and gratuitous nudity, eerie, booming laughter at every turn. These were not my friends, and I couldn't help but wonder what they were doing at my party.

I was looking for someone; a boy, one I actually knew. Occasionally I'd catch a glimpse of his glasses or his hair, but when I'd inch closer, hoping to slide into his frame of vision, he'd disappear once again, and I'd be left to my own devices. Or vices.

I drank something that was sitting on a nearby counter. It stung me in every way. In the best way.

Every now and again I'd spot my sister, laughing drunkenly with a group of people she seemed to know. I couldn't tell. They were all strangers to me. But still, I was searching for this face. A familiar one, a safe one, a face that didn't make me feel scared or threatened. And as the night passed, faces like that were fewer and far between. Even my sister disappeared at one point. But I never stopped looking. The lonelier, more scared I felt, the harder I searched.

Until a large, bald man asked the question I couldn't bear to ask myself. "Why are you looking so hard? What do you want with him?"

I lied to the guest. "I JUST WANT TO HAVE SEX." It seemed like a concept he would understand, even in his state of increasing inebriation. His laughter echoed in my ears, etching a scowl onto my face as I prowled past him.

The truth was that I had no idea what I was after. Perhaps I was just looking for someone to sit in a quiet corner with me and talk, or play guitar. Maybe I really was after sex. But I couldn't help but wonder if all of those things were too insignificant to warrant this endless search.

The sheer horror of this thought thrust me into the waking world, my body drenched in sweat. I'm very much awake, but the nightmare is present.